Should You Move to the Northeast?

No! Stay wherever you are and never, ever try to move to the Northeast. You're too good of a person. You're not jaded and you're not used to people giving you the bird for driving like a maniac. Just stay wherever you are.

You're better off somewhere else for now, but if you ever reach a point in life where you need more diversity, variety, and commuting time, feel free to move to the Northeast!

Between the dark outlook on life, the jaded demeanor, and the high tolerance for driving in traffic, you'd be a great addition to the Northeast! You should totally consider moving. You'd feel right at home.