Which Hipster Vehicle Should You Drive?

You never travel outside a ten-mile radius. You probably live downtown in the heart of your hip city, where everything you need, from your job to your vegan grocer, is right next door. It'd just be silly to drive a real car such short distances when you can have a Smart Car. Your Smart Car zips you around town in seconds, and you get free parking almost anywhere. We just hope you're a conscientious driver, because even a minor fender bender would require the Jaws of Life to pry you out of that sardine can.

You ride a beach cruiser. It's probably painted teal or sky blue, heavy as hell, and almost impossible to ride on any uphill terrain. But, like all hipsters, you are in impeccable shape. You use your bike to show off your amazing calf and thigh muscles. You often roll up your pants so everyone can see them while you ride. Sure, you have to cuff your pants so the chain doesn't tear them, but that's only secondary. Everyone needs to see those stems.

It probably runs on potato oil that you take as a donation from the grease traps of fast-food joints. It parallels your aesthetic. You believe that recycling can save the world, and you are inspired by the Native Americans, who used every bit of the animal they killed in order to make a better life for themselves. You really couldn't name a single Native American tribe, but that doesn't stop you from begging for free grease to power your amazing, eco-friendly vehicle. Sure, you only get ten miles to the gallon, but you really aren't trying to travel that far. It isn't about the destination. It's the journey!

You drive a classic. It probably belonged to your father in the '80s, and he gave it to you before you dropped out of college to see the world. Your parents have enough money to help you buy the insanely expensive spare parts, but if you're smart, you probably already converted it to use biodiesel or some other form of vegetable oil, so the car always smells like french fries. In all honestly, it's a hunk of junk with an expensive price tag but with enough room for your girlfriend, her cute friends, your dog, and your guitar. Just throw a beach blanket on top of them and head to your favorite national park for a hike.

You're environmentally friendly and self-deprecating. You make fun of yourself first before anyone has a chance to, and that's why you should drive the biggest joke on the road. Sure, it gets great gas mileage and it's the first car to successfully combine battery power and gasoline, but good luck getting to 60 mph in under a minute. Of course, you're not trying to impress anyone with stealth, style, or speed. You're here to save the world with your unique sense of humor and penchant for rebellion.

As the hippest person taking this quiz, you know that a truly environmentally conscious millennial would never, ever drive a polluting piece of metal that encourages assembly-line careers and minimum wage. You are above societal norms, and you silently protest by using your own two legs to get absolutely anywhere. In reality, you aren't too proud to take public transportation and probably bum rides from your richer hipster friends whose parents donated Volvos or Mercedes to their world-saving cause. But you are in great shape and probably run marathons that raise money for the SPCA. Mad props.