Are You a Vampire?

You've fantasized for years about what it would be like to be bitten in the night and now it's finally happened. So why haven't you turned? Probably that spaghetti you ate last week. It had way too much garlic in it. Go roam a few London cemeteries and try again.

You've been bitten and now you're out for blood. You can't even control yourself a little bit. The one who turned you tried to tell you how to behave but you're just not having it. You are not yet discriminating in your tastes at all. Put down that rat and have some self-respect.

You steal into your victim's bedroom in the night to seduce the victim and have magical psychic intercourse and increase your vampiric power. You rob the victim of all of his/her energy. And not just once. Over and over, night after night.

You are a Greek Christmas Vampire. Yes, you read that right. Christmas vampire. You were born between Christmas and Epiphany and so you were born a vampire. You come back every Christmas to roam your hometown and savagely eat your family and friends.

You vant to suck our blooud . . . You are a true, classic, cemetery roaming, velvet cape wearing, pearly white fangs vampire. You sleep in a coffin under a framed picture of Vincent Price and drink your victim's blood from a crystal wine glass.

You are one of the OG Romanian vampires. You know Transylvania was in Romania, right? Your pale, dry skin is how your victim recognizes what you are before they scream in terror. You're so powerful that you can swallow the moon and eat the sun. You're in good company, though. Being a varacolaci is caused by a genetic trait that makes you rise from the grave after you've died so you've likely got a vampire uncle to show you the ropes.