Valentine Charades

You are the analyst in the relationship (or you're single), and your'e greatest asset is your self-awareness. You are experienced and know exactly what you want, risking measuring your potential or significant other without appreciating what makes them special. You hope for someone you can recognize by the way they are with others. Your preference for relationships to be organized may stifle your attempts at dating when you find it difficult to 'break the ice. ' More than anything, you want the chance to have that cinematic glow but find the possibility of being hurt again absolutely terrifying. Ideally, you find a way to challenge your perceptions as their ideas may not follow or be connected similarly. Exploring these differences may help you feel more trusting (and protective? ). Finding your direct opposite (in terms of personality) or a friendly diversion may be in order. At this stage, it is important to compare every act with the ultimate ideal and always maintain an awareness of context for what they say to you and to be able to represent their personal best. For you, the worst possibility is losing control or losing sight of who your significant other is.

Because you've been through so much together, you are secure in your relationship but may feel like it has 'cooled off, ' despite sharing your secrets with your significant other who is also your best friend. You are the archetypal 'carer' and may have to rely exclusively on your perceptions to recognize your partner (this type of relationship lacks intimacy). You may feel like your relationship is just a story where you have to 'fill in the blanks, ' and giving them 'the benefit of the doubt' often causes you a lot of anxiety. It is very important to you to stay an individual and know who is who and who does what in the relationship. Perception is biased to attribute guilt. You often see similarities between others and your significant other and may wish they could be as happy and feel powerless for them. The rift in your communications is felt and they may resent your efforts to provide them tangible help as intrusive or artificial. It may take a sudden change for them to be able to see you. Mostly you aren't sure which 'self' is wanted because personal divisions are replicated in the relationship. Expressing more empathy with both sides of the regret may bring you closer, or creating something else that you both support wholeheartedly. You feel the closest when your significant other understands when you feel most like you can be yourself. You can help them feel like a more loving person by recognizing complements (i. e. self-deprecating humor) and any attempt to do something uncharacteristic just to please you (more likely to be effective if you have some clear differences). You need to make a lot of direct statements. Persuasion may be the foundation of your relationship and cause a lot of reactivity and difficulty believing in forgiveness or change due to either intense perceptions of similarity or self-criticism. You may be keenly aware of your part in the story of your significant other%u2019s life (i. e. how this is going to look from their next life. ) More emotional tone needs to be added to help understand the intentions and meaning of trust and acceptance and more closeness than detachment, loyalty than test. The key is being direct without being persuasive.

The core of your relationship is mutual and vicarious concerns for each other's well being. You may feel like you are often working behind the scenes to ensure the quality and security of your relationship, and it may go unnoticed, like you are being two people for your significant other. Your relationship fulfills your material needs and may be strongly influenced by internalized gender expectations. You may have a lot of rules and expect problems to be solved quickly or forgotten (i. e. saying 'just let it go'. ) The Guardian may therefore feel like they are trapped in a response cycle that creates a lot of tension. Some people are better than others at using it to drive growth in the relationship. Your marriage may be seen by others as stereotypically perfect and you enjoy making your partner feel like anything bad happening is outside any possibility. They are safe only in your arms. You are most likely to share your fears and worries with each other (as opposed to dreams and promises) to bring you closer. You have a keen sense of irony, strong attachment, and would do anything to prevent losing each other. Your relationship may be unique in that you have a strong perception of your significant other as a person apart from just your relationship and sympathize with those needs and interests. Because you are so objectively valuable, you may be perceived as controlling, especially if you are trying to be persuasive. If you feel stifled your marriage may benefit from more lightheartedness and equal say in decisions.

You strive to see yourself through the eyes of your significant other and may have specific expectations that may pressure your significant other. You may feel very accepted and understood but unsure how to reciprocate these feelings. Your uncertainty may be perceived subtly as rejection or self-consciousness by your significant other that you 'listen or follow too closely'. You enjoy sharing fond memories and plans with your significant other and may need to talk about the objective meanings of your relationship like what your life would be like without him. Sometimes you may feel like you hear their expressions as commands or insults, and your insecurities may revolve around certain assumptions. Feelings of inferiority may entrap you in arguments with your own shadow that only serve to delay making real contact with your spouse. Your worst fear is losing the love of your significant other and you would do almost anything to secure their favor. Perceptions may follow self-fulfilling prophesies because you are so sensitive to potentials for rejection. On the other hand, your attempts to secure their affections are rationalized (whether you are aware of it or not) by their choices and actions that may or may not be directly perceptible. Essentially, their love justifies your actions by 'eternal return' the essence of your faith. You may be able to find greater closeness and grow your relationship by creating a 'new ring' to reciprocate the return by looking for ways to more indirectly increase their happiness and express your love more personally (i. e. by giving up something important to you, having a baby, taking care of an unpleasant practical matter or unfinished business, making a date with a mutual friend / his mother etc). It is very important to make specific plans together and be sure he knows exactly how you feel about him.

You believe in the unshakable power of true love without losing sight of your inner Guardian. You do not resent your husband or wife for their needs and are confident in your understanding of them. You are not easily distracted by superficial details and are always aware of the life you've built as an expression of your love and the promises you've made Together. You have a strong intimate relationship because you and your spouse/significant other have strong empathy and therefore recognition of your mutual promises, needs, and expectations (i. e. you know exactly what the world looks like from that perspective). You may go out of your way to express yourself on their terms and are generally very close, and would find it difficult to be away from each other for more than a few days. You have strong beginnings and strong personalization of responsibility for your family. You know what it means to give without expecting anything in return and are good at expressing compassion and happiness. You are aware of your personal perceptions (i. e. the way your significant other looks through your eyes). In fact, there is not much you wouldn't do for the one you love just because you love, and your strong beginning affords you the clarity about where you stand on any important issue. You can create more meaning in your relationship by giving your significant other space (or questions) for them to reciprocate. The core conflict is between your belief in your significant other as a person and whether they are or should be listening to you. You should be aware of your significant other's attempts to reciprocate their affections and how much they depend on you. Your most poignant fear is of losing your significant other (simply because you know and project their dependence), and would do almost anything to prevent it. You genuinely want what is best for them, and you are good at seeing yourself through their eyes and above superficial comparisons or demands. Your marriage is the cornerstone of your lives. You never take your eye off your promises, and enjoy making plans for the future together.